I feel like a hypochondriac because my tooth saga is dragging on. The two rootcanal treatments on the left side of my mouth are now finally finished, much to the joy of me and much to the disgust of my bank account.
It is just so strange that since the caps were put on on Saturday evening, the right side of my mouth is really painful. It is not deeply excruciating pain, but a constant awareness and aching discomfort. Enough to color my whole day, effect the quality of my interactions. I really had to push very hard today to complete setting the exam for my students tomorrow.
Since Saturday I have taken Panadol, Advil, Ibuprofin and today went to buy some Cataflam recommended to kill all forms of toothache in no time at all. Mmmmm, I managed a 2 hour painfree nap and that's it, woken up by it again. I really dislike taking painkillers, but when I do take them, I at least expect them to do the job!
Why am I telling you this. Probably because if I was with you now, you would hear no end of it!
Also, I think I am writing this because I am hoping that there is some kind of story in it. It all started 4 years ago actually shortly after I arrived in Muscat. I paid hopelessly too much to have ceramic inlays in about 4 of my teeth. I went to the lengths of taking a loan from the bank. Needless to say, that dentist was very smooth and persuasive. And I was very gullible. That was already the second smooth dentist that had talked me into parting with lots of cash, only later to find that he had done a shoddy job. Anyway, these inlays are supposed to last forever.
Famous last words.... In January two of them broke.
When I visited Dr Matt and he told me this, also informing me that I needed 2 rootcanals, it was just the last straw on the camel's back. I had been dealing with all the passport stuff and appraisal at work and personal issues and I just could not believe it. I literally did feel shaken to the roots. I spoke to Claire who said that I was clearly busy with a clearing out process, a process of catharsis on many levels, of letting go, and this was obviously a physical step on the road.
I went straight to Louise Hay who has the following to say:
Teeth represent decisions. So problems with teeth are a sign of an inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. Root canal problems mean that I can't bite into anything any more and that my rootbeliefs are shifting.
There was some truth in this in the sense that I am examining my life on every level and getting rid of everything in my space that doesn't support me. I have felt for months that I have been wading through syrup on many issues, and that many things have been stalled, difficult to break down and chew and digest. I could definitely be more decisive and stand up for myself more.
Hester used to say that not choosing is also a choice.
The first time I sat down in the dentist chair, it felt like an incredible emotional door opening. I still do not really understand where it came from, but it felt like a wellspring gushing from the very foundations of my life. Thank God that I trust Dr Matt. Throughout the whole sitting, tears just kept streaming down my cheeks. I had to make myself so vulnerable to allow him to do that deeply invasive procedure. I realised that I had been bottling emotion of frustration for months, and that maybe this rootcanal work was necessary for me to let go, let go, let go.
After the first sitting of 80 minutes, Dr Matt and I got talking about the miracles of life. He said that so many people define a miracle as something huge and mindblowing, but that he found the ability of the body to heal itself an incredible miracle. Every small cut is healed, the body regenerates, we take it for granted.
I don't really know why I am trying to explain it to myself. I do believe that the physical is a manifestation of what is happening inside and I am really struggling right now.
On my little altar where I light my incense every morning is an extract from a poem by Robert Bly,
We did not come to remain whole
We came to lose our leaves like the trees
The trees that are broken, and start again,
drawing up from great roots.
I am so truly grateful for the knowing that I have great wonderful healthy strong roots to draw up from, and that you are an essential part of them.
It is just so strange that since the caps were put on on Saturday evening, the right side of my mouth is really painful. It is not deeply excruciating pain, but a constant awareness and aching discomfort. Enough to color my whole day, effect the quality of my interactions. I really had to push very hard today to complete setting the exam for my students tomorrow.
Since Saturday I have taken Panadol, Advil, Ibuprofin and today went to buy some Cataflam recommended to kill all forms of toothache in no time at all. Mmmmm, I managed a 2 hour painfree nap and that's it, woken up by it again. I really dislike taking painkillers, but when I do take them, I at least expect them to do the job!
Why am I telling you this. Probably because if I was with you now, you would hear no end of it!
Also, I think I am writing this because I am hoping that there is some kind of story in it. It all started 4 years ago actually shortly after I arrived in Muscat. I paid hopelessly too much to have ceramic inlays in about 4 of my teeth. I went to the lengths of taking a loan from the bank. Needless to say, that dentist was very smooth and persuasive. And I was very gullible. That was already the second smooth dentist that had talked me into parting with lots of cash, only later to find that he had done a shoddy job. Anyway, these inlays are supposed to last forever.
Famous last words.... In January two of them broke.
When I visited Dr Matt and he told me this, also informing me that I needed 2 rootcanals, it was just the last straw on the camel's back. I had been dealing with all the passport stuff and appraisal at work and personal issues and I just could not believe it. I literally did feel shaken to the roots. I spoke to Claire who said that I was clearly busy with a clearing out process, a process of catharsis on many levels, of letting go, and this was obviously a physical step on the road.
I went straight to Louise Hay who has the following to say:
Teeth represent decisions. So problems with teeth are a sign of an inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. Root canal problems mean that I can't bite into anything any more and that my rootbeliefs are shifting.
There was some truth in this in the sense that I am examining my life on every level and getting rid of everything in my space that doesn't support me. I have felt for months that I have been wading through syrup on many issues, and that many things have been stalled, difficult to break down and chew and digest. I could definitely be more decisive and stand up for myself more.
Hester used to say that not choosing is also a choice.
The first time I sat down in the dentist chair, it felt like an incredible emotional door opening. I still do not really understand where it came from, but it felt like a wellspring gushing from the very foundations of my life. Thank God that I trust Dr Matt. Throughout the whole sitting, tears just kept streaming down my cheeks. I had to make myself so vulnerable to allow him to do that deeply invasive procedure. I realised that I had been bottling emotion of frustration for months, and that maybe this rootcanal work was necessary for me to let go, let go, let go.
After the first sitting of 80 minutes, Dr Matt and I got talking about the miracles of life. He said that so many people define a miracle as something huge and mindblowing, but that he found the ability of the body to heal itself an incredible miracle. Every small cut is healed, the body regenerates, we take it for granted.
I don't really know why I am trying to explain it to myself. I do believe that the physical is a manifestation of what is happening inside and I am really struggling right now.
On my little altar where I light my incense every morning is an extract from a poem by Robert Bly,
We did not come to remain whole
We came to lose our leaves like the trees
The trees that are broken, and start again,
drawing up from great roots.
I am so truly grateful for the knowing that I have great wonderful healthy strong roots to draw up from, and that you are an essential part of them.
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