Crossroads

The second half of my life will be black
to the white rind of the old and fading moon.
The second half of my life will be water
over the cracked floor of these desert years.
I will land on my fee this time,
knowing at least two languages and who
my friends are. I will dress for the
occassion and my hair shall be
whatever color I please.
Everyone will go on celebrating the old
 birthday, counting the years as usual,
but I will count myself new from this
 inception,this imprint of my own desire.

The second half of my life will be swift,
past leaning fenceposts, a gravel shoulder,
asphalt tickets, the beckon of open road.
The second half of my life will be wide-eyed,
fingers shifting through fine sands,
arms loose at my sides,wandering feet.
There will be new dreams every night,
and the drapes will never be closed.
I will toss my string of keys into a deep
 well and old letters into the grate.

The second half of my life will be ice
breaking up on the river, rain
soaking the fields, a hand
held out, a fire
and smoke going
upward, always up.

by Joyce Sutphen

A trick of light

On my way to work on Wednesday morning, after working late to get my portfolio for the promotion done, my beloved Ollie overheated and I stood by the side of a long highway, cars zooming past me. I had some water in the back, which I put into the radiator after getting it open with my beach towel and managing to avoid the huge spurt of boiling shitty water spraying up like a geyser.My colorful stripey towel is ruined, which I am sad about, but I am grateful for its protection.

 I set off again, only to stop a little way further. He was just not having it. I got out the car wondering what to do when I noticed the daintiest, almost glowing, little bush by the side of the road with teeny white butterflies flitting around it. I immediately relaxed and paused. In that moment a car pulled up, a kind Omani man with a broad smile offered to help me. I got to class 3 minutes before the start and had a good flowing lesson. 

Despite my own pressure, I had found time to help my friend Miriam with her cover letter. She said,'Stefani, I am so happy with it now, it is like a waterfall'. We had coffee and chocolate and sat in the art studio a few moments gathering myself.

I managed to hand in my portfolio on time, although I had forgotten the nice folder I wanted to use at home.
I left Ollie with his trusty Sri Lankan doctor later that day, praying that the problem was something small. When I picked my car up on Friday evening (he was finished early), I had forgotten my wallet. The loved one, who was standing next to me, took out his money and paid without blicking an eye or skipping a beat. I  had to hold back a tear of thankfulness that appeared instantaneously behind my eyes. 

As I had hoped, it was a minor problem. Later I realised that the mechanic had also replaced the bulb of the inside light of the car without me asking. The darkness inside the car had been irritating me for months. I can't express the joy I experienced at that small gesture of bringing light into my life unasked.

There are many other angels too, and I think when we allow ourselves to dance with life and stay at the centre, they reveal themselves as they are needed.

I wish that you may clearly hear life's music and move to its beat, and that angels will join in!

As I watched my fellow churchgoers kneel to receive Holy Communion on Friday, I was sure I saw a beautiful translucent figure of light welcoming the worshippers to this ancient ritual. My breath caught in my throat and I felt the emotion well in my chest. But then, it could have just been a trick of the sun's rays reflecting off the glass behind. 

Goddess of Oman in purple underpants

I have many stories brewing and churning and rising up in me, and need to make time to write them!

I have had a busy week and although I promised myself to take things slowly, it just didn't work that way. I am physically and emotionally still very 'up and down', I think in this case -pun intended. The vertigo is better but still hits unexpectedly like hunger when you are right in the middle of something.

Aren't friends just the best invention in the whole world? I am so blessed to have collected a good few genuine ones.

My girlfriend in Bulgaria made my day, she posted on my Facebook wall:

Very
Eccentric
Real
Trustworthy
Incredible
Goddess of
Oman

Almost makes me feel honored to be so dizzy! Wow!

I have had a week of appraisals with the manager and preparing my portfolio- with the help of the loved one at the last minute, bless his computer skills- to hand in for the promotion process. The deadline is tomorrow.

So, light the candles, put on the purple underpants, cross the toes, chant the Ohms, dance the dance and for money and recognition to come raining from above. It's time.

Wishing you the support of a true friend when you most need it today.