The best showers in the world

I spent a day and a night last week in the desert.  I always go to the same place and it always works its magic on me. I slept outside and fell asleep watching the stars. Although the daytime temperatures are already relatively uncomfortable, the night is cool and refreshing. Rashid, my friend who owns the place, had told me before that he would not be there, so it was a lovely suprise to find him there after all and have a proper catch up. We drove back together through an amazing thunderstorm, the sky lit up with lightning and water falling buckets from the sky. Very unusual for this desert country.

What I actually want to tell is that in my friendship circle, the bathrooms in the camp are known as 'the best showers in the world'. They are seperate from the sleeping huts, spacious, and are open to the sky. It is such a great feeling to be standing under the water with no roof above you.

There I was towelling myself off, when I spotted a small grasshopper who was desperately hopping around trying to get out of the enclosed space. I opened the door and with my towel gently tried to coax it in the right direction. Of course instintually it moved in the opposite direction. I then resorted to a good few firm sweeps of the towel to finally get it out through the door. It sailed away free into the morning.

I wondered if the universe doesn't do this to us sometimes; first it tries to coax us subtly in the right direction and if we don't listen, we then have to endure some discomfort and a couple of swift slaps to get us going on the path of our freedom and bliss.

May our ears be open to the soft voice in our hearts encouraging us to make the right choices today!

The most difficult lesson of all

Honor them, love them, help them, heal them, but above all else, Stefani, free them. Everyone, of course -     The Universe http://www.tut.com/ For me this is also a reminder not to cage myself, clip my own wings, but to give myself all the space I need to expand and be my best self. A constant learning process.

Lessons from my mother

I grew up with an unconventional mother- just me and her.  My dad died of cancer when I was seven;  she was just in her mid-thirties. She grieved him for much of the rest of her life. But that is another story.

She really tried her best to stay in the box while I was growing up. She taught at a technical boys’ high school for all the years I was at school, dressing relatively conventionally and wearing her long blonde hair in a bun. She always helped out with the art, costume design and make-up for school plays, and often sewed clothes for me. She was a very creative and exuberant person.

Somewhere around my late teens, she started to change. She became more and more eccentric and took to wearing long flowing clothes and wearing her hair in a long plait. She started taking part in and presenting self-awareness courses; and all sorts of weird and wonderful people starting showing up at our house saying they were sent by God. She gave up teaching completely and started making paper and unicorn art which she sold at craft markets.

We had never had money before, but now it was a scarcity. Friends coming to visit used to bring milk and sugar and somehow we got by from day to day. The housemaid left and our house started to resemble something out of Wuthering Heights. She literally gave up all sense of security and needless to say, the conservative Afrikaans family thought she was going completely bonkers, away with the fairies.

I remember one day trying to talk to her about these changes and how they were upsetting me. We were sitting on my bedroom floor and I was trying to explain to her how hard it was to see my mother change so much and not know why.  I felt so insecure and helpless.

My mother was very calm. She told me to really look at her. She sat opposite me and we looked deeply into each other’s eyes. She asked me then what I saw. Suddenly it dawned on me how happy she was. I realized that in all the time that I had known her, I had never seen her that joyful and fulfilled. I had only been looking on the outside,  just as my grandparents and her siblings had been looking on the outside.

She explained that she had finally been able to drop living up to all the expectations of the people around her, as she had done all her life, and was just following her own path and her own happiness from day to day. She no longer feared the judgements of the world, but lived according to her inner guide and light.

I never worried about my mother again,  as I realized that my love should give her wings and not hold her in the old patterns that I had grown up with.

I admire her immensely for her courage to set herself free, and live her life to the full.

For me, love is a huge infinite space. A space where I and those I love can soar free, play, and find our own true bliss. Then share that joy in intimate moments together. I thank my mother Hester, for this precious lesson.

Talking to God

There are many ways to talk to God!

A grandfather was walking through his yard when he heard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in a tone of voice that sounded like a prayer.

He asked her what she was doing. The little girl explained:

‘ I’m praying, but I can’t think of exactly the right words, so I’m just saying all the letters, and God will put them together for me, because he knows what I am thinking.’

God knows what you are thinking, just show up and be present.

A hundred silent ways

I don't know who wrote this, but I wish I did! It's beautiful.

 

''As you fill with Wisdom, and your Heart with Love,
there's no more thirst. There's only unselfed Patience
waiting on the doorsill, a Silence which doesn't listen
to advice from people passing in the street.
I closed my mouth and spoke to you
... in a hundred silent ways.'' ♥

Say thank you!

I was really intending to go to the sunrise Easter service this morning, but woke up at 2 am and could not settle down again. I felt out of balance and when I got up for work, I was full of fuzziness. I went to my little altar which is now white, and lit my white candle and looked at the delicate white orchids that are on there.
I made my coffee, greeted the furry friends, and decided on a white shirt. I then drew a little angel card for the day. The word was "gratitude".

I think if someone would ask me the one single piece of wisdom that has played the largest part in  making my life so joyous and full of light, it would be that- "Say thank you."
I was 19 when I did my first self awareness course with a lady who I love and respect with my whole heart. Our homework on the first night was to write down 50 blessings.
We all looked at her with utter horror. 50 blessings??
I think I got up to 14 that evening and hit a blank. By the last night of the course, I was coming up with more that 50 without much effort.

I now do my thank you list on a regular basis. It grounds me and helps me to see things that I would not have noticed otherwise. I have also found that the more thanks I express, the more abundance I attract.. which give me more to be grateful for. Sometimes this even works instantaneously. It is a wonderful circle of  miracle and blessing.

It also helps me to see that even troubled times, pain and fear can be blessings.
I have a girlfriend who has a dreadful toothache at the moment as a result of giving up smoking. She wrote to me and said,

'This toothache problem is awful but it proves, how smoking has been destroying my body, so it is a negative which is actually a huge positive.'

Usually when I hit the creeping doubt like this early morning, it is because I haven't expressed my heartfelt gratitude for a while. I was so happy to be reminded, to be pulled back onto the path, eventhough it cost me a really uncomfortable night.

If any of you are feeling unconnected and unfocussed, try this little trick. Look at the things you are grateful for, even the teeny tiny creature comforts that make your life so cosy.

The truth will set you free but at first it will make you a little miserable.