On banana bread and being with yourself

"Now that I've found you, I'll call off the search"   ..Katie Melua

I'm sitting in my kitchen thinking about tomorrow and the days and weeks to come.The oven is preheating as I am just about to make lovely banana bread for myself. 

 I'm also thinking of Einstein who said, I never think of the future as it comes quickly enough! I feel a bit like a dog that has been chasing a car for the last 7 months. Now I have finally caught it and I feel slightly bewildered. 

  

Tomorrow is my last day in the office before a long summer break. It is also the last day in that specific building, a beautiful campus next to the ocean I have been working in for the last three and a half years.

The ''car'' I have caught is TIME. It feels as though I have been rushing forever, for years, always taking short breaks and always leaving home. I also usually work most of the summer. So, this year I have given myself a big gift. Space and time at home. And also two lovely breaks! Those I will tell you about soon.

Now that I am finally on the threshold of the holiday, it feels a little bit scary. The open space and time seems daunting. My life has been so super regulated and timetabled: working hours, yoga, German, the man... all nicely pencilled into my diary and ticked off methodically.

 I have so many things I want to do: I am on a mission to throw out, lighten the load, and also create some order in my surroundings. 

But most of all, I would like to spend quality time with me. And I think my biggest plan of all consists of doing nothing mostly.

Today I came home and cooked myself a scrambled egg with asparagus and parmesan, I watered parts of the garden and then sat in the pool with a cup of tea, listening to the call to prayer. It is Ramadan and life has slowed down. Things seem to happen in slow motion, and it is a good feeling if you don’t mind that for a while.

Usually, I play that song by Katie Melua when I feel so blessed to have found such a wonderful companion in my loved one. Tonight I play it for myself.

Dear friend, wishing you open spaces and time to do nothing except be with yourself.

Here’s the recipe by the way, it is one I use regularly.

Ingredients:

·         3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed

·         1/3 cup melted butter

·         1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup)

·         1 egg, beaten

·         1 teaspoon vanilla

·         1 teaspoon baking soda

·         Pinch of salt

·         1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

 Method:

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last and mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve. YUM!