I am very happy to report the storm is over. It has been hard to describe and I am still not sure where it came from, like a strange and eery current from the depths of a calm sea, come to stirr things up. Everything is all pink and luminescent and harmonious again, and I am deeply relieved. Many things helped me to weather the storm. My house mate, my loved one, the artists, Claire, my colleagues in my office, my students, you- all firmly woven into a safety net of support that holds me, even when you don't know it!
In the middle of this feeling of endless waves washing over me and not being able to come up for breath, I remember a very helpful image that was given to me by my Swiss TCM practitioner and acupuncturist many years ago in Ravensburg. It was not long after my mother's death and my first miscarriage, and it was the Chinese year of the horse. I was born in the year of the horse and it is said that every twelve years when the years revolve to your own sign, it is supposed to be an auspicious year for you.
It was a water year, and Karin said that she had come up with an image which would help to get me through the storms. She said, "Imagine yourself as a little seahorse at the bottom of the ocean, with your little seahorse tail firmly wrapped around a reliable frond of seaweed. No matter how strong the waves are on the surface, you will be swayed by the currents, but you will stay calm and composed in the depths".
So there I have been for the last 4 weeks or so, a little coral colored seahorse, holding on to my bit of seagrass for dear life. I have been fortunate to have all manner of interesting and beautiful sea creature swim past and share a smile, and have been surrounded by lovely plants and water treasures to distract me. I was even able to experience an unforgettable perfect moment of intimacy and peace amidst the fear.
Dear friends, if times are a little hard, KNOW without a doubt that the feeling will pass; and if times are bliss, give thanks with all your heart!
In the middle of this feeling of endless waves washing over me and not being able to come up for breath, I remember a very helpful image that was given to me by my Swiss TCM practitioner and acupuncturist many years ago in Ravensburg. It was not long after my mother's death and my first miscarriage, and it was the Chinese year of the horse. I was born in the year of the horse and it is said that every twelve years when the years revolve to your own sign, it is supposed to be an auspicious year for you.
It was a water year, and Karin said that she had come up with an image which would help to get me through the storms. She said, "Imagine yourself as a little seahorse at the bottom of the ocean, with your little seahorse tail firmly wrapped around a reliable frond of seaweed. No matter how strong the waves are on the surface, you will be swayed by the currents, but you will stay calm and composed in the depths".
So there I have been for the last 4 weeks or so, a little coral colored seahorse, holding on to my bit of seagrass for dear life. I have been fortunate to have all manner of interesting and beautiful sea creature swim past and share a smile, and have been surrounded by lovely plants and water treasures to distract me. I was even able to experience an unforgettable perfect moment of intimacy and peace amidst the fear.
Dear friends, if times are a little hard, KNOW without a doubt that the feeling will pass; and if times are bliss, give thanks with all your heart!
