of dandelions and rocks

Where have I been, I ask myself? Why is it that when we are busy and wrapped up in the single complicated moments of life, do we first give up the things that truly keep us healthy on all levels? Why is it sometimes so difficult to do the grounding things that truly bring us joy? A colleague commented recently that men automatically go back to the well, recharge, do what they need to do. Women have to be more deliberate about it. That's where I am now. Love is good, very good, but I am not loving myself first. Reminding myself how important it is to do that one.

Many things going on, many thoughts, much bliss, many perfect moments, also confusion, fog and frustration, but that is life and I take it all on.

I recently had a dream of standing with a dandelion in my left hand and a small rugged rock in my right. This was so representative to me how I feel about life and love right now. I feel that it is all so fleeting and I want to grab hold, and it is also solid and dependable and with me on a deep level. Both are made of the same stuff. Both are truly beautiful. And they do balance.

It reminded me of Blake's poem:

"He who binds to himself a joy does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies lives in eternity's sun rise."

I've been aspiring to live that since my teens, why does it get more difficult and not more easy?

The loved one bought me a pair of really nice hiking boots for Christmas, my first proper hiking boots ever, may I add. He is so thoughtful. They mean so much to me, as they are the representation for me of the dandelion and the rock, the wings and the roots, the wild flight and also treading the path with care.

I feel an adventure coming on.

Love to you all. Wishing you deep roots and strong wings as Christmas and the end of the year draws near.

And yes, there are many questions, but there are also answers.